September 28, 2010
clare posted at 8:53 AM
havent blogged in ages.
was browsing through the net, and came to xuan's blog. then i saw that she talked about the past and how hilarious it was.
and was suddenly tempted to read my own blog archives. had a good laugh, a few cringe at how naive and childish i was, and thought back about the conversation i had with J and his friends.
about how everyone has their own past, that they are not proud of.
True that. but i dont see the point in hiding anything. afterall, they are what makes you who you are today. and though you damn well think you are perfect now, who is to say that a few years down the road, you wont be looking back at today and laughing at yourself either?
suddenly tempted to blog again after eons of years, because i realise that there isnt enough space in your brain to keep all the memories of your life in, and a blog is actually a really good way to do so.
but then, i might not be disciplined enough to do so..
sigh, my brains dying off again.
havent caught a single wink the whole night.
and having to squeeze enough brain juice to type this few sentences......
'nuff said.
March 17, 2010
clare posted at 9:01 PM
maybe its time to revive this rusty space,
and find back the comfort that blogging used to bring.
November 3, 2009
clare posted at 12:07 AM
Am going crazy with worry.
before i make myself sick, oh please.. dont let what i dread come true.
on a total random hindnote, feel like creating a tumblr.
should i?
yes i should.
October 22, 2009
clare posted at 12:27 AM
idk if i made the right decision in joining bloco.
i am excited and i love beats but there are many factors that makes me fear,
but i guess, this kinda chance dont come often in life and i should make the most out of it.
i should put my insecurities and apprehensiveness aside and just live for the moment.
beeeeenn a busy week, and super unlucky stuffs has happened.
buttttttttt it will all be fine! :)
should be more optimistic! :D
October 13, 2009
clare posted at 12:20 AM
reallly down on my luck.
god. this stress, can kill.
adding on to sch and beats encore worries, now i have more.
feel like killing myself.
OMGGGGG.
why the fuck am i so fucking suay?
see my picture in the obituaries tomorrow. :(
October 5, 2009
clare posted at 10:43 PM
First day of school, was total screwed up shit man.
i hate my nerves. or should i say, the absence of it.
was super nervous and didn't get enough sleep the night before.
messed it up big time.
sigh. i can only hope tomorrow will be better. :(
but i love today's module though. its kinda like philosophy.
you dont quite have an actual answer for the issue, but the fun is in all the debating, exchanging of opinions and stuffs like that.
hope the next 4 modules are as fun as well. :D
keep yr chin up!
have faith. things will get better! :)
clare posted at 12:53 AM
I think, im getting my blogging vibes back.
but then again, no big deal. haha!
right now, all im feeling, is excited for the start of a new sem! :D
am watching america's next top model from the very first cycle and i think janice dickinson is such a bitch. too over opinionated.
ughh. but watching this kinda show makes me feel so bimbotic.
am gonna wake up early tmr to get ready for sch. haha
keeping my fingers cross that my classmates will be awesome. :)
October 4, 2009
clare posted at 4:34 AM
wish, the news wasn't so depressing.
i wonder how the newscasters survive being the bearer of all these bad news each day..
miss my childhood.. playing with candles, fire and lanterns.
damn. hate growing up.
we just dont make time for this kinda things anymore.
spent mooncake festival watching a hindi movie with P, V and K instead.
awesome show titled 'wake up sid' and the experience was very different as compared to watching it in other normal cinemas. haha!
tomorrow's the start of the semester.
dk what to expect.
but am pretty excited.
gta start my rusty engines and work hard this sem.
knn. 2.5. each time i think about it, i cringe.
should stop skipping classes and all the whatsnot.
looking at a cooking show just reminds me what a terrible cook i am.
HAHA! ask J, he should know. ;D
sigh. should go to bed now. nice screwed up body clock.
October 1, 2009
clare posted at 9:05 PM
4 more days to a new sem.
idk whether to be afraid, or to be excited.
but the mere prospect of having to get to know a new class of ppl all over again, to have to do presentations, evaluation and RJ everyday is dreadful.
but i do miss school as a whole and the fun we had as a class..
W46M will always hold fond memories.
anw, my results for sem 1 are terrible! 2.5 gpa. holy shit..
this hol has been pretty good though. been having fun and relaxing but have been putting off things i ought to have done long ago..
am feeling real vexed for no reason at all. idk whyy as welll. :(
September 28, 2009
clare posted at 2:46 AM
sometimes, life's inevitably hard lessons deals someone you know a greater blow than you have ever been through.
and though its not you, it scares you. it scares you enough to make more of an effort to make things right. to set life's petty issues aside. And things that you've been taking for granted, and people you've neglected, you tell yourself, its all going to change.
but life isnt fair. it was never fair. you now have the chance to change. but the opportunity was taken from someone else, just to present you with this chance.
i wish there was something i could say or do to help make things alittle more bearable but somehow i feel as if i dont have the right to..
we all wish so desperately that life won't be this difficult, but then we also know, it wont be called living a life as well.
At some point today, i started to wonder.. there are so many more things in this world thats worth our concern, yet we always get so riled up over simple petty issues that doesnt make sense. Other people our age has to experience worser shits than we do, and yet, we always think that nothing could be worse than what we're going through. It might be that we are self centered creatures, and it might be that we are ignorant of the pains others have to go through.
maybe, as we grow older, we get so used to all these that it doesnt hurt or trouble us as much anymore. i guess, if thats true, then i think i just found the only good point about growing older.
Be strong, have faith.
September 19, 2009
clare posted at 10:46 PM
September 5, 2009
clare posted at 2:48 AM
life, has its ups and downs.
but i guess for now, im in the up. ( maybe thats cause today was a good day )
am contented with certain things for now.
still making mistakes, all kinda wrong decisions and choices along the way, but am learning. (i hope)
sigh.. came online with the intention of writing a long post. but...am failing miserably.
forgot everything that i wanted to talk about, and i lost the ability to write a passage of more than 200 words that makes sense.
should really stop my brain from this lag.
August 12, 2009
clare posted at 3:08 PM
Only 4 more days to me and J's 1st year.
Its weird. Like how time feels like its passing so fast and yet, when we reach this significant timing, it feels like i've only known him for months.
Thinking about everything we've been through for this 1 year, and even before we were together, all the memories bitter, sweet or sour, that contributed to how we are now.
We've had our fair shares of quarrels and troubles, but we also had our very happy moments.
Along the way, we've both changed for better or for worse and...
i dont know.. its a whole mix of emotions..
feeling very excited but at the same time, very nervous because, when something means something to you, you cant help but worry about every little thing and hope with all your heart that everything will go smoothly..
August 10, 2009
clare posted at 2:48 AM
life.
everything's accumulating to the point of breaking down.
where all you can tell yourself is, press on.
things can't get any worser... can it?
have i been putting so much pressure on everyone around me?
am i being oversensitive? and perhaphs, self centered?
haven't been blogging about my feelings for pretty long, and i think i kinda forgot how to.
its quite scary to see how you feel being written down though, and then you start worrying that people will judge you, your life, and the people in your life that you just backspace everything, and then you feel that constricted pain in your heart grow tighter and you feel indignant, silly and foolish all at once.
im getting lazier.
maybe, its time to do something about everything laying stagnant.
August 6, 2009
clare posted at 12:03 AM
I hate it when words fall short.
i hate it when i say and do things i dont mean,
and the words i really wanna tell you, get stuck and wont get out.
sigh
July 27, 2009
clare posted at 11:57 PM
I AM GOING TO SLIM DOWN.
I MUST, AND I WILL. :D
have put on so much weight unknowingly.. god... am so major sad right now. :(
anw, MLWSW T,N,F,V and J. HEHEHE
P, go and die! :D
and, i reallllllyyy have awesome classmates. :D
W46M, i love ya alllll! :D
July 10, 2009
clare posted at 11:55 AM
as it always is,
everytime a new harry potter movie is about to come up, i start reading all the books all over again.
but this time, i've decided only to read book 6 and 7, cause i've read 1 to 4 at least 4 time each and i firmly believe that too much of a good thing isn't good for you somethimes. HAHA
stayed up the whole night just to read deathly hallow, which was a terrible decision. Now, im so damn tired, i cant freaking concentrate in school.
and guess whats the worst thing? i have to go for an injection later on. worst nightmare of my life.
am so not looking forward to it. :(
AND, i have UT later on.
cbbb to to the ultimate maxxxxxx..
science somemore.
someone, just pass me a pen knife already. :(
June 28, 2009
clare posted at 4:58 PM
Staying at home is such a bitch.
not to mention having to do elearning as well.
CBBBB.
i miss going to school to the ultimate max.
I miss my crazy classmates..
and i miss the convenience of being in the same sch as N and T. :(
GOD. H1N1 is being the ultimate bitch what with ruining the plans and spoiling the routine.
on to happier things,
i cant tell you how excited i am about singapore idol's audition.
ok, i might be alittle mean but i was never the kind of girl who goes crazy over idol but i love the audition part be it american or singapore because it cracks me up like craazzyy.
god. am in one of those ditzy mood where i can never focus on something for long.
am off to cut my fringe and bathe. :)
oh, and happy 28th june Ms. :)
loads and loads of love! :D
June 27, 2009
clare posted at 2:25 AM
i think, im such a hypocrite.
i give ppl advices on love and life and yet, i dont follow them.
who am i to speak anw? i aint no love nor life guru.
in fact, i fail so miserably in both i have no rights to speak at all.
and i cant believe you really think i am that dumb.
really.. what a ridiculous excuse you gave.
i wasn't just born yst you know?
anw, awesome songs to share.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P609VFCTOW0http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lkdJQJg67cU
June 26, 2009
clare posted at 11:51 PM
god.
its been a very eventful week eh.
but the major thing is, now, my whole class is being home quarantined because a classmate has the virus. :(
thing is, H1N1 is really becoming very serious. though you most probably wont die from it, but stillllll...you never know.
so, people who are advised to stay at home, please be socially responsible and do just that.
its not a very big thing but still, what if you really do unknowingly have the virus? and nobody wants to pass it to someone you really care about right? like your friends and extended families.
anw, do take care everyone!
oh and go watch transformers.
its an effing brilliant movie!! like the best ever!!
seriously. :D hahaha.
June 22, 2009
clare posted at 9:50 PM
Bintan trip was awesomeee!!
omg. the sea was clear and VERRRYY beautiful.
and the hotel, freaking gorgeous and romantic. HAHA
too bad J wasn't there.
enjoyed myself to the ultimate max..
but the one glitch was that everything was overpriced.. god.. it was difficult to even find decent priced good food.
but it was a very good experience and i love that place! :D
wanna go back there again soon. :D
JINLONG,