November 30, 2008
clare posted at 1:19 AM
MUNCHYS,
im really sorry i havent met you guys for so long.
and thank you for understanding.
promise i will arrange something..
i really miss you guys.. ):
this weeks been real hectic.
many stuffs been happening.
but its all fine now.
so alls good hopefully.
i got sunburnt in batam, and my skins peeling now.
its very terrible and ugly. :(
talking to love on msn made me feel very nostalgic.
i miss the days in secondary sch where we saw each other everyday.
everythings just so different now, and we couldnt agree more on that.
things change, people change.
i just wish it didnt have to be this way.
i wish i had more control over my life.
dont feel like elaborating..
on the bright side, its my birthday in 7 days. ;D
and soon, instead of sweet 16, i can proudly proclaim my age to be SEVENTEEN! :D
ahaha. no biggie i know.
B's 19. and i cant imagine what i will be like when im that age.
and when i hit the big 2..god..
i feel like time passes so fast suddenly..
i feel like i dont have enough time to grow and i wish time could slow down and give me time to experience life for all it's worth.
ok. i should stop typing before even i drive myself insane.
loads of love,
November 25, 2008
clare posted at 10:37 PM
reality over fantasy,
head over heart.
is this really what i want?
if it is, why cant i stop my tears?
November 22, 2008
clare posted at 2:47 AM
I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND, I LOVE MY BESTFRIENDS, I LOVE ALL MY FRIENDS.
take care all! :)
if you wish, i'll die there and not come back. :(
ming xuan's idea. :)
LOVE YA ALL! :D
November 20, 2008
clare posted at 3:15 AM
i need to find a job!
its a must must must.
but i'll leave it till after batam.
aha. i cant wait.. :D
even though i was abit reluctant to go at first..
and after batam, MUNCHYs PLEASE! :D
and, i just heard that there might be a gathering on 13th dec!
thats the MOST AWESOME news i 've ever heard. :D
I CANT WAIT! :D :D :D
please people, plan something! :D
November 16, 2008
clare posted at 10:50 PM
HAPPY 3rd MONTH BC! :Dfirst time i celebrate 3rd month siollll..
HAHAHA! i like! :)
time flies. i cant believe it seriously.
LOADS OF LOVE MY BOYYY!! :D :D :D
lazy to blog these few days cause i got hooked on battleon.
HAHA! this was the game i used to play in pri sch but decided to give it another shot cause i saw bao zhen playing the other day when i stayed over at xuans place. HAHA!
all her fault. :D
went to the library today and borrowed books with B's card. HAHA!
and found out at the same time that my card has an overdue fee of $13.80.
sigh. me and my bad borrowing habits. :(
thank god B was there! then i could use his card. :D
and JOKE. his card actually got temporarily blocked because he hasnt been borrowing for AGES. say, a FEW YEARS?
HAHAHA!
ok! im back to my books. :D
BYE PPL!
LOADS OF LOVE. :)
**edited.
Job interview was a total flop. HAHA.
didnt even go for it in the end. cause i found out it was multi level marketing.
fucking waste of time when i could have gone home and sleep..
November 15, 2008
clare posted at 1:43 AM
today, once again, it hits me.
i fail. in every aspect.
too many nos, why nots, maybe, excuses said and done, expectations and let downs, the taken for granteds, those ''i'll be there always'', the tantrums thrown, taken that they will be swallowed down.actions not thought of, no willpower. sharp things said, insensitivity.
why cant i just step into his shoes for once. just once once once.
so now when everythings left in a trailing blaze of mess, i have only myself to blame.
the feeling of hopelessness and all is lost, and not knowing what to do, what to say.
and when i just wanna curl up and die or end it somehow, and i feel like shit cause i start thinking and thinking about the various reasons and ways and ppl. and then the feeling of selfishness kicks in. and because you know how the hearts a fragile thing but how at the same time feelings make it selfish or is it the mind that's making it selfish but either way it doesn't matter much if you don't share it around but how can you when you're afraid of your heart getting hurt and the other party getting hurt and when you want the best of both worlds and you want two cause it's something impossible so it's stacked on an impossible pedestral to ever achieve and so things are just hanging there.
just being a total fuck by crying by using emotions and ways to express your feelings like how you cry when you wanna scream and how you laugh when you really wanna die.
to relieve the tightness inside, the pain, the hurt.
November 11, 2008
clare posted at 3:45 AM
TOTAL AWESOMENESS.
later's the last paper! :D :D :D
MCQ sweeeeee lah.
but i guess as usual, everyone's been celebrating early.
it feels like the hols already.
and this cues more outings with friends! :D
*hinthint* ;)
and i so cannot freaking wait for dec! :)
(i think) its the most awesome month of the year.
because christmas, mom's birthday and my birthday are all in that month! :D
its also the last month before a brand new year! :D
am so super excited for job interview later.
but so freaking nervous at the same time.
this is like the only 2nd interview i've ever been to in my whole entire life.
i dont know what to expect at all..
all of a sudden, i wish someone could accompany me but its a little lame uh..
i'm going to be 17! gotta be independent. :D
HAHAHA
and oh my freaking god.
i have to freaking lose some weight please.
dont want to be piling on just because its the hol season.
(im being abit contradicting uh. esp when i'm eating maggi mee right now.)
ZOMG.
my mum bought me this new black jeans that is totally awesome.
its abit satiny and feels darn smooth.
when just the other day i was admiring deona's satin pants.
my mum can so read my mind. i didnt even tell her anything. :D
im so going to start wearing jeans even though im so not a jeans kinda person. :)
i should totally stop typing now.
am in this sudden state of highness after i start typing. :D
bye lover, bestfriends, friends, and aqquaintance. :D
November 8, 2008
clare posted at 11:57 PM
Had family gathering over at uncle christopher's place today.
this was the first time i've seen the place so crowded..
this just goes to show human's nature.
how we only start to treasure and make an effort when we are going to lose something.
November 7, 2008
clare posted at 1:38 AM
IF i do pass my lit this year and with not bad results, i would really have to thank pelyn for providing me with the freaking useful online notes. LOLOL!
they are awesome please. especially for joyluckclub. :)
and conference on msn with munchys just now made me laugh like hell. literally laughed out loud.
stupid pawan and his quiz..
but it was fun. :D
except for the fact that they have this tendency to drift off into gossip girls talk and totally change the subject.
which i dont watch.
YES.
just three more papers.
lit paper1and2 and sci mcq.
awesome.
and i have a job interview lined up on the day of the last paper.
how pro is that. LOLOL
some says that i should take a break and enjoy but i cant wait to earn some moolah and be able to buy whatever i want!
hopefully, the pay and the job is good!
and i had the weirdest dream ever last night.
and i remember EVERY SINGLE PART OF IT.
like wtffff.
i dreamt about ALMOST everybody in my life and i dreamt i was supercop. LOL!
in parts of the dream, i was trying to catch a fat person in bikini but dont know why the fat person ended up chasing me instead at last.
i could jump down alot of storeys and not die. and i could run super fast and also jump up half of the stairs as i was running up. LOL!
and the funniest thing, i was slim in that dream. OMGGG.
must be all my secret fantasies. HAHAHA!
JOKE please.
i woke up seriously bewildered, trying to make sense of it all.
hahaha. alright!
am off to continue reading the online notes. :)
byeee! :)
November 4, 2008
clare posted at 1:18 AM
im feeling damn irritated now please.
my dad bloody changed my desktop for no apparent reasons when the old one was working just fine..
now, i've lost my pics, my songs and this desktop is damn laggy..
and i cant sign on to msn for idk what fuck reasons.
omg. im damn looking forward to having my own laptop please. :(
and i havent been replying tags for the longest time ever.
im sorry!
i've decided to start replying tags from now on. LOL.
reading yeeting's blog made me laugh like hell..
GO SEE GO SEE!
her 03november post. :D
fucking hilarious..
thats all for now.
bye.
JINLONG,