February 23, 2008
clare posted at 3:13 AM
ACTUALLY HOR,
i realised i have alot of things to say.
but then.... its abit tedious to type every single thing out.
and, if i type too much, i dont know how long the post will end up being.
SOOOOO... i shall just forget it i guess.
HAHAHAHA
i kinda wish my life will go smooth sailing from here.
clare posted at 2:12 AM
:D :D :D :D :Dim starting this post with a BIGGG smile to chase off the blues.
HAHAHA
realised i can never stay emo for loonnggg.
HAHA!
anyways, i think i kind of like the school. :D
today was the orientation and it was so freakin cool.
we had like photoshoots taken by professional phtographers.
weird. i know.
whats a school taking pics for? but its apparently for our database or something according to them.
WELLLL... im not complaining. (;
HAHAHA.
the teachers LOOOKS fun and interesting. but then again, looks might be deceiving.. (:
however, the ONE BADDDD THING IS.....
there are DAMN LOTS of pretty girls and NOT A SINGLE cute or handsome guy can???
HAHAHAHA. okok. im not there to oogle at guys.
im there to study!
but the fact that there is no cute guys might be a good thing.
so that i can concentrate! HAHAHA.
but chung cheng also no cute guys what. how come i still score so lousy??
HAHAHAHAHAHA.
kidding luh. i know it was due to my own laziness that my results are so terrible. LOLOL
okok. seriously.
wanna know my subject combi? :D
im retaking 4 subjects..
Emaths, Com. sci, Chi, and lit.
am not retaking eng.
and instead of com. humans, i'm taking lit cause the school dont provide elective lit.
so YAY! no more SS for me. LOL
was checking out my timetable just now and was a little dismayed.
in between some of my classes, i can actually have 2 to 4 hours of break.
but the national library is just nearby!
so i dont quite mind actually. HAHAHA
also on monday, wednesday and friday, i can only go home at 6. ):
and i start school at 9.30.. ):
ahwells. no more complaining. :D
am going to do it!
and do it to the best of my ability. (:
one last thing.
i like the fact that the school is so near town. HAHAHA.
after school, me and xuan can go shopping or meet up with other friends. :D
but xuan's class combi and mine quite different i think. so our timing will be alittle off. ):
ohwells.
i hope that monday will be a good start and my classmates are friendly! :D
CHEEEERS! :D :D :D
[edited]
and thanks edmund chan for the treat. :D
leslie should learn from you about keeping promises. HAHAHAHA.
February 21, 2008
clare posted at 8:04 PM
i applied for private school today, and am officially in.
tomorrow is the orientation day and the first day of school is on monday.
i dont know what to expect at all.
from the people, from the teachers, the school and myself.
im scared. very in fact.
so many 'what ifs' running through my mind.
what if i make the same mistakes.
what if the same thing happens all over again.
what if i can't adjust comfortably.
what if im just some lousy shitass who cant score even if i try.
along with the lousy o'levels results, went my pride and my confidence.
whats there to be confident about?
hah. quite ridiculous ain't it.
i want to do well.
the fee isn't cheap at all.
i dont wanna end up wasting more of my parent's money.
wanting to do well is one thing. being able to is another total different story.
im afraid of so many so many things.
i just want to laugh at myself.
February 20, 2008
clare posted at 1:30 AM
from the day i took my o level results till the results for the posting, never once have i let myself get emotional.
thinking what good would it do even if i start thinking negative.
but i realise now, its more like i was afraid to..
afraid, that people would look down more on me than they did before if i started to get emotional.it was and IS my own fault that things are now like this anyway.
afraid, that once i started getting emotional, it means that things are a definite gonner.
afraid, that i will spoil the atmosphere or burden people with that useless emotional baggage.
the simplest way, to me, of forgetting existing problems are to run away, or make jokes out of them.
but things have now come to this point that i cant run away, nor can i bear to make jokes about.
then i realise, i dont know what to do at all.
what good would reflections or regrets do at this time.
ironies and contradictives.
wonder how many times have i had the conversation about not learning from the same mistakes with myself or others.
but it always ends with the same few words, with me saying the same old things.
and then the whole cycle repeats itself again.
everythings ruined.
my heart feels like its been squeezed and left to die.
i feel that consistent pain reminding me over and over again what a failure i have been.
i want to talk. i want to tell.
but i dont know who to run to and i dont know who to cry to.
all at the same time, i want to hide and play pretend.
i have always thought the word 'mock', was an ugly word.
but now, its the only apt word to use.
despair and despise.
i and me.
i'm sorry.
for being the big disappointment i am.
and not being worthy enough of everyone's care and concern.
February 14, 2008
clare posted at 2:22 AM
crap.
watching harry potter and the goblet of fire made me feel like reading the whole series all over again. ):
what the helllllll..
and the worst thing is.. i dont have the books. ):
irritating. HAHAHA
clare posted at 12:12 AM
HAPPY VALENTINES / FRIENDSHIP DAY! :D
HAHAHA.
at ting's house now.(:
so our first minute was given to / taken from each other. (;
be honoured ehs ting. :D
sorry chongwei. HAHAHAHAHA
to me, valentines not about bgf.
its about friends! :D
LOL.im not trying to convince myself. REALLYREALLY.
HAHAHAHAHA.
ok. i actually meant to write more for this post.
but harry potter's airing on cable tv now.
SORRY. :D
LOVES LOADS FOR VALENTINES!
:D :D :D
February 10, 2008
clare posted at 9:27 PM
OK! as promised, the PICS. :D
not much though. the rest are with them. :D
i took this pic. and its super blurrry.
ferran took this pic. which is super clear.
not fair can? =.=
cliche much. but stillll..... :D
the only pic i took for new year. HAHAHA.
thats all i guess.
im not happy with my phone's camera.):
no autofocus. resulting in blurry pics.
okok. my fault too. HAHAHA.
lousy shaky hands.
OI. my two dears.
take pics tgt tmr ok? :D
and i will post them up tooo! :D
and xuan, i REFUSE to be your favourite hobby. HAHAHAHAHA.
and pawan is a super idiot! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA
make me laugh like mad sehhhhhh.
i love the song! :D
thanks pawan. (:
clare posted at 4:29 AM
on second thoughts, i will leave the replying of tags for when i go home. =.=
not used to laptop. so yar...
SORRAYE. :D
clare posted at 4:19 AM
HARRRLOOOO. (:
havent been here for along long time.
SORRAYE.
busy ya know. :D
BTW, HAPPY NEW YEAR!
HAHAHA. its been like great so far. :D
winning money. (;
went to pulau ubin on tues.
and it was FUN FUN FUN. :D
btw, I HAVE PICS! :D
and apparently, i have lousy camera skills, ):
i shall not be lazy and post the pics when i go home. PROMISE. :D
alright, gtg reply tags.
and read shawn's very interesting book, ' Mister GOD, This Is Anna.' :D
LOADS OF LOVE! :D
February 3, 2008
clare posted at 9:37 PM
I FINALLY HAVE A NEW PHONE!
:D :D :D
sony ericsson W910i! :D
but i had a hard time trying to figure out how to use it. HAHAHA!
LOVE IT TO BITS!
:D
am going to take super good care of it. (:
and i still haven finished my new year shopping!
no time already. ):
tomorrow is my last day.
cause im not free on tuesday and wednesday we are supposed to go for reunion dinnnner.
DIEEE.
i still havent bought any shorts, shoes, and undergarments. )):
grrrs. like whatever. (:
IM OFF! :D
clare posted at 4:30 AM
went to bugis with CHIA AH XUAN AND YEO AH TING on friday. :D
but could meet them for dinner only. ):
cause had to go meet the boss before that.
SO SORRRRRY DARLINGS.
we had dinner at that hong kong cafe. :D
it was SERIOUSLY DELICIOUS! :D
and theres nothing wrong with CREAM sauce. -.-
who is the horny bitch and bastard?
HAHAHA.
I WANT TO GO BACK THERE TO EAT!!!
:D :D :D
outing with them was filled with laughters as always.
cracking STUPIDLY CHILDISH JOKES. (;
all their fault. they made the waiter go red. HAHAHA.
havent gone out in threes for ages. and its my fault this time.
sorrry girls. ):
i will make it up to you two soon. (:
LOADS OF LOVE! :D
happy now chia ming xuan?
HAHAHAHA. :D
February 1, 2008
clare posted at 9:12 PM
ok fine. as my friends have corrected,
SIX words.
family gathering, gambling and hong bao.
HAPPY NOWW?
:D :D :D
clare posted at 3:52 AM
and seriously.
im looking forward to chinese new year can? :D
3 words.
family gathering, gambling and hong bao. :D
HAHAHAHA. :D
BLACK JACK! :D
clare posted at 3:27 AM
i cant freaking believe that i survived 2 (or more) months with a faulty handphone that cant type messages.
HAHA.
and i dont see my new phone anywhere. -.-
did not really expect parents to keep their promise actually.
kinda expected something like this will happen. but ohwells.
forget it.
(:
bought new year tops already! :D
havent bought the bottoms, shoe and undergarments though. HAHA.
i bought like 3 tops and 1 hoodie. :D
newyear clothes this year are all quite casual actually.
but i love them so super much! hahaha.
so the shopping trip with pawan and leslie proved to be a fruitful one then. (:
lolol. (:
mum bought a home-dye kit.
and helped me highlight my hair with the excess. HAHA.
cant really see the difference though. ):
and i quite like my new job actually.
and its not because of the cutie.
really really. HAHAHA.
i get to talk like ALOT.
and run around which in turn, helps me to lose weight. HAHA!
and also, singaporeans are not as hostile as i thought they were.
they are pretty helpful and friendly actually.
but it depends on which area you are in. (;
i think the punggol one not bad.
but yishun, khatib and choa chu kang one got abit of problem arh. HAIYO.
sembawang one very good. :D :D :D
HAHA.
crapping here.
was supposed to go to sleep actually, but couldnt fall asleep.
LOLs.
off to bed again now.
NIGHTS. (:
JINLONG,