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February 21, 2008
clare posted at 8:04 PM

i applied for private school today, and am officially in.
tomorrow is the orientation day and the first day of school is on monday.
i dont know what to expect at all.
from the people, from the teachers, the school and myself.
im scared. very in fact.
so many 'what ifs' running through my mind.
what if i make the same mistakes.
what if the same thing happens all over again.
what if i can't adjust comfortably.
what if im just some lousy shitass who cant score even if i try.

along with the lousy o'levels results, went my pride and my confidence.
whats there to be confident about?
hah. quite ridiculous ain't it.

i want to do well.
the fee isn't cheap at all.
i dont wanna end up wasting more of my parent's money.
wanting to do well is one thing. being able to is another total different story.
im afraid of so many so many things.
i just want to laugh at myself.
Protagonist

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