BAHHH.
maybe its the fear for the results or whatever.
but i feel like crying. HAHAHA
i know this is crap.
maybe its a mixture of everything.
the fear of the results and for my already ruined future.
and the regrets.
its the same old things
quite ridiculous actually.
cause i used to think that i dont care. about the results that is.
because i already expect it.
but then again.
once in awhile, it will hit me that i ruined my future.
cant remember how many times i have had this conversation about not learning from the same mistakes with how many different people.
it could have been 20 over times or maybe more.
but it always go the same way and ends with the same few words.
and i will always say the same old thing.
but then, the same thing will happen again.
ironic much.
its regrets for not only wasting the days away not studying but also for the various aspects of my life.
family, friends, relationships. in general, my whole fucking life.
the different things that would have churned out different results if only i had handled them differently.
i hate moments like this when i show my weaknesses and my mind starts wondering.
BAHH. bah black sheeep.
JINLONG,